We waited until I was 14 weeks pregnant to go public. A small circle of close family, friends and prayer warriors knew, but as far as going to the masses our lips were sealed. I had 14 weeks of only a few people asking questions, which I could easily handle. In December, I finally went public at work and on Facebook. I had to laugh that within approximately 12 minutes of my Facebook post, I got a call from my Grandmother who had been called by my aunt who had been called by my cousin. Grandmother had known the news and was anxious to no longer be keeping this secret. Now that we had gone public the onslaught of questions and comments began. I have composed a list of some random and not so random things that have come from people’s mouths and either my responses or thoughts. In some cases, I really had to use my filter.
“I didn’t even know you were trying.” My response … blank stare. Thoughts behind blank stare – “Really? I don’t exactly make my sex life and or fertility status water cooler conversation.”
“Twins! Do they run in the family?” Short answer, “Yes.”(This is not a lie.) Many times it’s easier to answer this way because the situation or person doesn’t warrant the whole story, although I’m happy to share given the right opportunity.
“Were you surprised when you found out you were having twins?” “No.” Sometimes I leave it like this because I enjoy the look on the questioner’s face. Other times I explain.
“How are you feeling?” Possible answers: “Fine.” “Pretty good.” “Okay.” I don’t think I’ll ever ask a pregnant woman this question again. I think I might just wear a sticker each day with the answer on it.
“Have you been sick?” “Not recently, but October and November sucked.”
“Are you sleeping okay?” “Between my 85 trips to the bathroom each night, yes.”
“Does your back hurt?” “Yes.”
“You are bigger than you were a couple of days ago!” Possible answers “Yes, that’s what we do.” “Yes, the babies are growing like weeds.” “Thank you, I wasn’t aware.”
“You don’t look bigger than a minute.” I love the person who said this.
“You aren’t big at all for twins.” I like the qualifier on this one.
“When are you going to look like you are having twins?” Let me get out my magic eight ball and see what it says.
“Your belly is lopsided.” Hadn’t noticed this, either.
“You are going to have your hands full.” “Yes, but since these are our first, we won’t know any different.”
“Have you picked out a day care?” “No, Jeremy is going to be a stay-at-home dad.” This generally results in lots of comments, questions, and opinions. Just remember, if I were staying at home, these things wouldn’t be said.
“Do you have names picked out?” “Yes, but we’re not publishing.” This generally turns their expectant look into one of disappointment. Sorry, you’ll have to wait along with everyone else.
“Do you know what you are having?” “Yes, a boy and a girl.” Followed up with my favorite additional question… “Are they identical?” Do I really need to answer this?!
I’m sure I’ll have more things to add to this list in another week, but these are the most common. Additionally, for those who read this and know someone who is pregnant, I give you this advice … Please keep your horror stories to yourself. I don’t need to hear about the girl you know with twins and her toxemia or the twins who were born extremely early or the excruciating delivery or any other negative pregnancy or childbirth story. I can come up with enough scary scenarios on my own. Positive stories welcomed at any time!