TIES THAT BIND

A few nights ago I talked to Marti for the first time since her mother had died. She’s doing as well as can be expected, but she finds she misses her mother quite a bit. She and her mother had a close relationship, and although there are many happy memories, you do find a big gap in your life. Marti said during her mother’s funeral the pastor had said her mom had prayed that she would live to see Marti have a baby. She did that, and Marti had two! They all enjoyed their two years together, and Marti says Julian will pick up a picture of her mother and say Grandma. Even in their short time together, a strong bond was formed.

My mother was older when she had me, 39 years, and in 1967, that was not the norm. My family would tell a story about my father looking for my mother and I in the hospital, (remember dad’s weren’t in the delivery room then either), and they thought he was the grandfather (he was 44 yrs old). My oldest sister was an employee at the hospital to boot. I’ve mentioned before how my mother had trouble getting pregnant, and sought infertility treatment in its earliest stages.

Oftentimes as I was growing up, because of her advanced age, my mother would tell me how she prayed to live long enough to see me graduate from kindergarten. That prayer would change over the years for each of the milestones throughout my childhood. After we discovered in my adult years that I would have to undergo infertility treatments, she would say novenas for me to be blessed with a baby. After my oldest son was born, I received a few blankets from her friends at the Senior Center (yes you read that right) with a note how the knitter had said a novena while making the blanket. I sometimes think of this as I knit a blanket for someone and chuckle. I don’t say novenas, but I do wish them well as I knit.

When I took a look at the NEDC blog this morning, I was reading the latest posting from Jessica. She was blogging how it is best to be open and talk about what your dealing with. I agree with her, and we had always been very open about our infertility treatments. There were some people that thought we should just adopt and not go through all the bother. That route could be just as exhausting. I’m pleased that embryo adoption can now be added to the list of options. The more choices that couples have the better their chances are of finding what works best for their particular situation.

Jessica also mentioned that they are open about the fact that the embryos were frozen for 7 years. One of my sons was conceived from a frozen cycle, and our friends would often jokingly ask which one was the popsicle! It just amazes me that what can be done with the advances of technology and science.

The more I read the entries on our blog, the more I realize we all have ties that bind us in different ways. This blog has reached out to many and is forming new bonds as well as strengthening old ones. Thanks to bloggers and readers alike.

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