YOU GET WHAT YOU GET, AND DON’T BE UPSET

This saying is a favorite of Chad’s, my youngest son. His pre-school teacher tells the class this whenever they are unhappy with something (usually that is the snack choice of the day). I think it is great that she doesn’t try to “fix” everything for them, because they would miss out on a valuable life lesson. Even at a young age, you need to learn how to deal with what life brings to you, and make the best with what you have. This is a difficult lesson to learn at any age, but the sooner learned the better.

I was reminded of this on Saturday when I attended a surprise birthday party for a co-worker. Her husband had invited family, friends and everyone that works on our shift. I had never met her family, but had heard enough about them to feel as if I knew them when introduced at the party. While the kids played, the adults broke off into groups talking as adults do. The group I was sitting with was talking about family and such, and the discussion turned to children and the difficulties of conceiving them. In this group was one of our nurses who had had a loss last year, but is now expecting this Fall. The conversation turned to adoption, and someone remarked how American Caucasian families seem open to adopting overseas from another ethnic group, such as Chinese, and attributed this to lack of available Caucasian babies.

I don’t know what he was basing his observation on, whether it be personal knowledge or actual fact, but it does seem true. On the ride home, I thought of the expense and red-tape involved with traditional adoption, whether it be domestic or international, and I once again marveled at the beauty of embryo adoption. I know there are expenses and guidelines involved, but it seems easier. As I’ve said before, you can experience everything that a couple conceiving naturally does, which is an added benefit. You also don’t run the risk of having the birth mother changing her mind just before the adoption is finalized, another big plus.

One of the remarks made during that conversation made me think of Chad’s expression. Someone had said you don’t know what you’re going to get when you adopt, and someone else said that is also true to a certain degree with your own biological children. As I thought about this, I realized how true it is. There are so many ways those genes can combine, and each child is unique. You really do have to be happy with what you get, because as some of us know, we are just happy to have been given anything.

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