MEMORY LOSS

This weekend marks the anniversary of our embryo profile selection where we sealed Grant and Maria’s fate to get out of the freezer. I remember how excited I was to get profiles and how Jeremy and I laughed as we went through them. At some point, we had to get petty when picking through the 40 that were before us and specifically remember tossing one aside because the husband was a hair stylist (not that there’s anything wrong with that). We had “the giants” as out front runners…the 6 foot 5 inch bohemian hockey players and then somewhere near the bottom of the short list was profile #1200, special consideration for VSD with 13 embryos. Upon prayer and a very clear answer from God, those 13 embryos became ours. I remember looking at the profile and suddenly feeling very connected to them and prayed that we would be prepared to be the parents of at least one of those 13.

A year out I’m happy that I’m no longer hopped up on artificial hormones…I have my own that are doing a fine job at keeping me on the edge of insanity. I’m assuming this is a normal reaction to parenthood. I do know that part of my brain was removed during my c-section. When working on my mid-year review I could not remember what I accomplished before maternity leave. I managed to put a few things down and hope that at my year-end review I’ll have a few more substantial results to list. Again, I think my memory loss is another side effect to parenthood. I went from “pregnancy brain” to “mommy brain”…it’s a progressive memory disorder, to which I believe there is no cure.

Grant and Maria are doing well; both are growing like weeds and I’m hoping that at our 4-month appointment in a few weeks that we hit the growth chart. Grant is supremely laid back, but still has his moments. Maria has different needs and is pretty vocal about her desire to be held. I’m careful not to label them as “easy” and “difficult” because I don’t want them to end up stuck in some box. They are just different. From what I hear from other twin moms they will go back and forth between who is needier. Who knows…when they start walking Grant could become the aggressor and mow her down in retaliation for not getting held while we were tending to her during these early months. They are who they are and hopefully God will give us the patience, wisdom and endurance to foster their healthy development…even if I have lost my mind.

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4 thoughts on “MEMORY LOSS

  1. Your twins are beautiful! Loved your article! It reminded me of myself when our little ‘adopted as an embryo’ girl was around 4 months old. I’m a working mom too. I teach kindergarten. One day I couldn’t find my watch (I couldn’t find anything back then) and wore my husband’s instead. Of course my students noticed. I tried to explain to them that since I became a mommy I was having trouble remembering where I put things. One little girl looked at me and said matter of factly, “My mommy had a baby too, but she’s still smart!” Oh well! 🙂

  2. I really enjoy your blog about the adoption process and the progress of the twins. They sure look like happy babies. Of course, we don’t tend to grab the camera when there is a melt down in progress! Wishing you and Jeremy continues success as parents. Good luck with the memory loss.

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