This is the first week back to school after our Holiday Vacation, and I think the getting up early is starting to catch up with us all. It is quite dark and cold at 5:30am when the alarm goes off, and everyone would rather be rolling over instead of out of bed. I usually drive Ryan to the end of our driveway to wait for the bus. Sometimes we still see animals going into the woods, and I don’t like to walk that early in the morning.

We are the only ones at the bus stop, because none of our neighbors have children in high school. On occasion in the past, we have had had some parents drop their kids off at our stop, because they have either missed the bus at theirs, or the parents need to leave early. This seems to be true of one family in particular.

This morning we had not one vehicle pull up to wait in the driveway across the street, but two, for a total of 3 extra kids waiting for the bus. When the bus arrived, the kids all piled out, Ryan included. You could see from their height that they were upper classman (Ryan is a Freshman). There definitely was a pecking order getting on the bus this morning, Ryan being low man on the totem pole, regardless of the fact that this was his bus stop.

Later in the morning when our bus driver came to pick up the boys for elementary school, she was teasing me about the extra kids from the earlier run. She was joking that I had finally “let them out of the closet I’ve had them locked in.” I told her I keep them in the freezer where they originally came from (eluding to their once being frozen embryos), and that I thought our cold temperatures of late would make them feel at home. We joked about the fact that they just had on T-shirts with flannel shirts (unbuttoned of course) over them, because why would you wear a jacket it January when the temperature is in the 20’s? That is NOT cool. (Please note, I make Ryan wear a jacket, cool or not. That’s probably why he was last getting on the bus!)

I started to ponder what life would have been like for him if he hadn’t been the first born, and what it might have been like if I had some success with the first infertility doctor we saw prior to Dr Benadiva. I have oftentimes wondered how my life would be different, but haven’t really thought about how it would affect my kids. I don’t even think I would have Joel or Chad, and I’m certain Marti wouldn’t have Natalie & Julian. They all are here because of the length of time and the number of cycles we underwent. As Jessica alluded to in her blog entry yesterday, it is difficult to know when it is God’s will and how you might be tempting Fate. One of the most difficult decisions to make is whether or not your family is complete. This can be especially true when undergoing infertility treatments. The next is what to do with the remaining embryos. The option of embryo donation through NEDC now provides couples with yet another option. I’m not even sure if this would have been available 15 years ago. Once again, I find it is true that everything happens for a reason.


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