A song recently came on the radio that Jeremy referred to as one of his NICU songs.  “Let the Waters Rise” by Mikeschair was in heavy rotation at the time and he said that he could vividly remember hearing that song while winding up to the top level of the parking garage on our evening visit to the babies.  He liked parking at the top because the sky was so pretty that time of day and he always got a sense of peace seeing the beautiful canvas God created.  Jeremy is a typical guy in the respect that he doesn’t openly talk about his feelings.  During our NICU tour of duty, he maintained his Steady Eddie persona and regularly entertained the nurses with his offbeat sense of humor, even though he was challenged during this period in our lives.  His recognition of this song as one of his NICU songs reminds me that often the men in our lives might now show what is going on inside, but are deeply impacted by the circumstances of life.  For him, it was a time of surrender and knowledge that God will sometimes allow floods, but He is enough to get through.

There’s a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I’m holding onto You
God Your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You

I recognize that when it comes to infertility, we often hear about the struggles that women go through, but rarely hear from men.  I can honestly say that Jeremy was quite fine with our life with just the two of us.  He would have been content not to have children.  However, he also knew that it was a non-negotiable for me and knew that as long as he and I were together, children would enter the picture.  He still maintains that having children is the equivalent to inviting strangers to live with you on a permanent basis.  “I like you!” he’d exclaim. “I might not like them.”  Now, there is no doubt he loves and even admits to liking Grant and Maria, but he remembers fondly the days when our house was a quiet oasis.

Other men are different and long for a son or a daughter while suffering silently through years of failed infertility treatments and a crazy hormonal wife.  This has not gone unnoticed.  On behalf of all the moms and moms in waiting, I want to thank all the dads and dads in waiting for all you have done for us.  We couldn’t get through it without you.



  1. You will regain the oasis in time. For now, enjoy the wild ride, and if anyone ever asks you if you’ve ever done anything that will matter in a hundred years, give a loud shout of YES! And we wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

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