POOP

Can anyone tell me what the normal amount of poopy diapers is for any one toddler? I know newborns poop a lot…it’s how you can tell they are getting enough milk. But, my kids, Maria in particular, are taking poop to a whole new level. It is not uncommon for this child to poop 4 or 5 times a day. And these are not dainty little poops. These are massive, unlady-like poops. Poops that would put hair on any man’s chest. We were getting away with one big box of 234 diapers per month. But, not now…they’ve upped the ante and refuse to poop in anything but a fresh diaper, resulting in the need to increase the diaper budget. I’m sure this is completely unrelated to their high fruit and vegetable intake. Of course, I can appreciate a good poop. I come from a family who prides themselves on a healthy colon…a healthy colon is a happy colon…you should have been around when my parents and brother did a Colonix colon cleanse. I recall an email from my brother that left me in tears as he relayed pooping something from his childhood and his apologies to the hotel cleaning staff. I digress… Anyway, maybe Grant and Maria need some excess cheese in their diets to bind them up a bit. I guess we can rest assured that the plumbing is in working order, but sometimes it’d be nice to go a day without poop.

So much for deep thoughts…I just need answers about poop. And speaking of poop…tub poop no longer makes me gag. My dear sweet Maria manages to poop in the tub at least once every two weeks. Sometimes I catch her poo face and posture and can pluck her from the tub before she does the deed, but not always. I feel sorry for Grant, whose beloved bath time gets cut short as a result.

What else do I no longer find disgusting? I pick boogers with my bare hands and clean faces with my own spit. Hopefully I have washed my hands between booger picking and face cleaning. I can identify the meal they had the day before based on the odor from the diaper. Black beans and black berries make for an interesting menagerie of scents. Finding whole blue berries and raisins in the diaper make me wonder why I even bothered putting the food on their trays in the first place. Yes, these are the things you can look forward to as a parent. Sweet bundles of biohazards!

2 thoughts on “POOP

  1. wow that’s a lot of poop!! Liam sometimes has two a day at almost 3yrs but I don’t recall ever more than that since he was a newborn. He’s potty trained for the most part except he tries to hide when he’s ready to go. We have to push him to go in to the potty. Anyway sounds like they are healthy and working well!!LOL

  2. There is a direct correlation between the amount that goes in and the amount that comes out. Those little tykes eat like they have been working in the fields all morning! Seriously, I never saw such good little eaters. Grant did an extra special large delivery for me this morning, and Maria did two separate, slightly smaller deliveries. Aren’t they sweet?!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s