HERDING CATS

The best way to describe my life right now is “herding cats” and I’m not talking about the wine … although some days it includes a lot of whining. I’ve seen the debate on the twins club forum and among friends and family whether it’s harder to have twins or to have two close in age. There are advantages and disadvantages to both but the fact remains that both are hard. With one child, your attention is focused. With two, no matter how you slice it, your attention is split.

With twins, I can say the following:

• They often want the same thing at the same time and I often hear myself saying “one of me; two of you, please be patient.”

• When they aren’t wanting the same thing, they are going in opposite directions. Four hands can get into a lot in no time and I haven’t figured out how to be in two places at once.

• At this age, they will play together and entertain each other so I can get something done. However, peaceful play can go to hell in a hand basket in a hurry.

• Finding uninterrupted one-on-one time is difficult. They are on the same schedule, so I can’t play with one while the other is napping. The good thing is they are on the same schedule, so we can get a break.

• Having twins as our first born children, we do not have the advantage of hindsight. They are both in the same stages at the same time; we can’t apply lessons from the first child to the second.

• Our phases feel like they last a long time. One will start and the other follows…and then the first regresses and so on. Potty training should be interesting.

• People make a lot of assumptions about twins. Yes, they have a special bond that only twins can have. But, they are also two unique individuals that have unique needs and sometimes meeting those needs at the same time is a challenge.

I know I was meant to be a mother of twins. I had a feeling for many years that I would have twins. There were no surprises the day we saw two little heartbeats on our 6-week ultrasound. I welcomed the challenge and pray each day that God gives me the strength, wisdom, and endurance to not only survive as a twin mom, but thrive.

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