Experiencing infertility and adoption has made me much more sensitive to the language people use around adoption. Comments that people innocently make can make me flinch. Here are a few:
“His real dad” – Genetics don’t make a parent.
“Their real kids” – Adopted children are children, too. Do you mean genetic children?
“Are you going to have more children?” – If only you know how hard it was to get these two. I generally say, no, but God has a sense of humor, so who knows? I no longer ask people I don’t know well if they plan on having children or if they are done having children.
“Real adoption” – do you mean adoption of a child who was already born? While the legal issues surrounding embryo adoption are different than that of traditional adoption, I do not consider embryo adoption any less real.
What comments or phrases are sensitive to you?