THINGS PEOPLE SAY

Experiencing infertility and adoption has made me much more sensitive to the language people use around adoption. Comments that people innocently make can make me flinch. Here are a few:
“His real dad” – Genetics don’t make a parent.
“Their real kids” – Adopted children are children, too. Do you mean genetic children?
“Are you going to have more children?” – If only you know how hard it was to get these two. I generally say, no, but God has a sense of humor, so who knows? I no longer ask people I don’t know well if they plan on having children or if they are done having children.
“Real adoption” – do you mean adoption of a child who was already born? While the legal issues surrounding embryo adoption are different than that of traditional adoption, I do not consider embryo adoption any less real.
What comments or phrases are sensitive to you?

Advertisements