UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

I recently connected with someone via the NEDC’s Facebook page who is preparing for their embryo transfer in November. We’ve exchanged numerous messages regarding their upcoming transfer and our experience with embryo adoption. In one she commented on how beautiful Grant and Maria are and I mentioned that we relinquished their 10 siblings last year and that maybe they could consider them for adoption if they were still available. After all, we know they would be good looking kids, right? I explained that they had a special consideration label, but not to let that sway their decision and if they had questions, to let me know.

For the last year, I’ve wondered if someone had adopted their siblings, but I never really thought about meeting them. Because we went through an anonymous adoption, we can’t find out from the NEDC if additional siblings are born. However, if we just happened to run across the family or families who adopted additional siblings and the parties agreed, we could meet.

Earlier this week I received a message that this couple received 94 (wow!) profiles to review and that Grant and Maria’s profile number was not there. I was both excited and disappointed. Excited that hopefully this means they’ve been adopted and that that a healthy baby or babies have been born are waiting to be born. Disappointed because it means there’s a much less likelihood that we will know exactly what came of the remaining embryos. I know that Grant and Maria are going to ask the question one day. While I wouldn’t change our decision to adopt anonymously (anonymously donated embryos aren’t any less worthy of a chance out of the freezer) I know there will be questions that we can’t answer, including what became of the other embryos.

For now, I will trust the bigger plan and if we’re meant to know what happened to the others we’ll find out. Either way, I pray for wisdom and the right words in talking to Grant and Maria about their extraordinary entry into our family.

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