Not an itchy birthday

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Seven years ago today, I married. It was the day before my 26th birthday.

They say that in the 7th year of marriage, people get “itchy.” They get restless. They start looking for a way out. They get divorced.

The U.S. census in 2011 cites the average length of marriage is 8 years. Couples seem to file for divorce around the 7 year mark, and then complete their divorce in the 8th year.

Why?

Statistics say that around 7 years is when people are burnt out on caring for young children, there are burgeoning financial pressures, and there is an accumulation of negative experiences or incidences that come to a boiling point.

People who are unhappy in their marriages generally know that within the first few years, and then take a few more years to get to the state of divorcing.

I am the product of divorce. I know how painful it is. Divorce is an epidemic in my family. Each of my grandmothers was married three times.

My parents survived the 7 year itch, only to get divorced at the 10 year mark. But, they each re-married and have been remarried for over 20 years. I have great stepparents as a result.

Tygh’s parents have been married for over 35 years.

I have no shame in saying that Tygh and I do not have a perfect marriage. But, we have a very good marriage. We are teammates. We genuinely enjoy one another. We “get” each other.

So, on this milestone anniversary, and the day before my 33rd birthday, Tygh, I salute you:

“You are my rock. You are my touchstone. You keep me grounded. You support me. You love me, and all my idiosyncricies. It’s been quite a journey to get where we are now, and I’m genuinely very excited for what lies ahead. We have been so blessed. We have two amazing, beautiful children. We have a roof over our head, food on the table, and careers we enjoy. We have family that love us, and friends that stand beside us.

I love you.”

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