Yesterday was what we hope is our sixth and final homestudy (apart from maybe a brief follow-up visit or two).
It was the first time that Tygh and I actually got to be together for the homestudy since the first visit, many months ago.
Again, the caseworker just wanted to fill in holes that she had in her report. She mostly asked about our differing parent styles. I’m much more laid back, and Tygh is more of the “iron fist.” She also wanted to ask more about our children and their personalities.
Now, if you know me, I could go on and on and on talking about my kids. But, I quietly deferred to Tygh. It was so fascinating hearing his responses, and watching him as he responded.
When he spoke of Brae, his chest puffed up, and he sat up straight. His voice was strong and proud. He talked about how Brae is his shadow, how intelligent and willful he is, how he’s “all boy,” and how Brae owns me (great).
When he spoke of Sienna, his chest kind of caved in, he relaxed his posture, and sat back in the chair. His voice was softer and more relaxed. He talked about how she’s shy when she first meets someone, but then she warms up quickly and is a social butterfly. How she loves to take care of things and people, and how she can stand her own against her big brother.
And then, he spoke about me. He spoke about how great of a mother I am. How when I’m with the kids, I’m 100% with the kids. How I’m driven and persistent in reaching my dreams, and also loving and compassionate (tears).
And then the caseworker said something that really surprised me. Mind you, most of my interactions with my caseworker, while I really like her, have been a bit prickly. I know that’s just part of the process. I’ve gotten the impression she thinks that I’m this tightly-wound woman who needs to take a chill pill. Come to learn, she thinks quite the opposite.
“You know, Britney, you’re actually a big softie. You come across, and I think most people would think that you are this rigid professional woman who has to have her life all in order, which is what I initially thought. But I’ve come to learn that you are not this way. You actually have a very big heart and are quite a big softie.”
That lit up my day.
So, next steps are that we have to finish a couple little things around the house (get a new fire extinguisher, get a safe for our medications, etc.), she writes her report, comes to do one final house walk-through, and then we are allowed to read our report (gulp).
As much as I want this homestudy process to just be over with, and have been pushing to just get it done, I truly trust God’s sovereign plan with how and when this next child will come.
For now, it seems, we are at least off the roller coaster, and waiting for the next ride.