While preparing for our transfer and selecting our donors, I had asked family and friends to keep us in their thoughts that we would “know” when we came across the right embryos meant for us. It was such a daunting decision with so many variables. The selection of embryos would likely result in a child that would be with us forever. It had major implications and required much consideration.
After choosing our embryos, I’d talked with a friend who’s daughter, having gone through years of infertility, was led to adopt a little girl from China. She told me of the Chinese proverb ‘The Invisible Red Thread’. It’s Chinese legend that the gods tie a red cord around the ankles of those destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. When a child is born an invisible red thread connects the child’s soul to all the people who will play a part in the child’s life. As each year passes, those threads shorten and tighten, bringing together those people fated to be connected.
My friend said her daughter loves this proverb. She believes all the years of going through infertility was her destiny, preparing the way to bring her, and her daughter’s souls together, at just the right time. Lilly Joy is the other half to her soul, brought half way across the world, to make her life complete. She is now 8 years old, and Sally can’t imagine her life without Lilly.
I believe this to be true. Going through all the donor profiles was agonizing. But when we chose “the one” and after it was confirmed the donor profile was reserved for us, a peace came over me that we had made the right decision.
I believe John Luke is the little boy, Josh and I were meant to have. His little life frozen, until just the right time, place, and circumstance, for our souls to meet. People always say how much he looks and acts like us already. Josh and I have said, we wouldn’t change a thing about our infertility, even if we could, because we wouldn’t have John Luke.
His little soul was our destiny. May our thread stretch or tangle, but never break.