When I was pregnant with Sienna, I never posted anything about it on any social media site. In fact, after she was born, and I did post pictures of her, many acquaintances sent me messages, marveling about how they didn’t even know I was pregnant.
With this pregnancy, I’ve pretty much done the same thing. I have never posted anything about being pregnant, and don’t plan to.
This is deliberate. For me, I remember the pain each time someone I knew posted about being pregnant, and showed off their growing belly. It killed me inside.
Perhaps I’m more sensitive than most, but when I see posts about someone announcing their engagement, I immediately think of all the girls crying because they just broke up with their boyfriend. When I see posts about someone announcing their cool new job, I think of all the people who have just lost theirs. When I see posts about someone’s awesome vacation, I think of all the people who can’t afford to take one.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy seeing all these happy posts, and like to celebrate with others in their joy. There is nothing malicious in posting stuff like this. But my heart goes out to all of those who have been marginalized by this same celebration and joy.
With everything we’ve been through, I just cannot bring myself to announce this pregnancy or post belly pics on social media. Instead of basking in all of the uplifting messages I’m sure we’d get, I will be obsessed with the one girl whose day got a little darker because of that news.
Because I had many of those dark days, too.