FAMILY TIME

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Last week was fun filled with Easter Egg hunting and family time down in Alabama. We took a five day visit “down south” to see Josh’s parents and brother, his brother’s wife and four kids. Their Uncle John even came by for a visit.

John Luke had fun riding four wheelers and watching his older cousins play. He wanted to do everything they were doing. Emma is 9, Anna Kate 7, Spencer, 5, and Zachary 3. I’m glad the youngest of the cousins are boys. Zachary took John Luke under his wing and wanted to show him everything.

We went to the Good Friday and Easter Services at church and had our fair share of home cooked goodies. Josh’s mom did a great job of planning. As she would tell ya, “And no one got in a snit”. It’s always good to get together. We live too far and I wish we had more times like these.

Josh, John Luke and I weren’t ready to say goodbye, but it was time to head home. I had my doctors appointment in Knoxville on Wednesday for an ultrasound and bloodwork. The appointment went well and I received a call from the NEDC the next morning to start the Estrace. It’s hard to believe I have only three weeks until my transfer.

I got a text on my way to Knoxville from my sister-n-law saying the kids couldn’t stop talking about John Luke. What sweet memories they will have growing up together.

The good Lord willing maybe we can add another Foster cousin to this crazy brood.

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Four Times Two

April 17th marked Grant and Maria’s 4th birthday.  It was a day met with great excitement as we had their party scheduled for the evening and I was off work so we spent the whole day together.

4 year old stats:
Grant – 36 lbs, 2 oz and 40 inches tall (50th percentile), favorite color is orange, favorite stuffed animal is a small dog named Charlie, and favorite toys are worker trucks and Ninja Turtles.

Maria – 33 lbs, 2 oz and 38 1/2 inches tall (25th percentile), favorite color is purple, loves anything that sparkles, favorite stuffed animal is a small dog named Bandit, and favorite toys are her coloring supplies and Barbie dolls.

I looked around at their party and thought it was pretty awesome that they could celebrate with all four grandparents and three great grand parents.  They don’t know how cool that is, yet.

They received big kid bikes from Jeremy and me and got the hang of it as the day went on.  We finished off the day with a ride around the block and both commented that their butt’s hurt…they haven’t developed the appropriate bike seat butt callous yet!

We continue to be thankful for the joy and challenges that these two bring to us daily.

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MIXED EMOTIONS

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I received my medical protocol this week for our upcoming transfer in May! Relieved my test came back negative, Josh and I are happy to be pressing on for a sibling.

Recently, I had some mixed emotions. When I was told to come off the hormones during the needle biopsy ordeal, I expected my cycle would start within 5-10 days. After almost 3 weeks of no menses, I got concerned and called the IVF coordinator.

She said that if I hadn’t started by the 10th of April to take a pregnancy test. If it was negative, to start the birth control. Pregnancy test? I was just a tinge excited at the thought of being spontaneously pregnant on our own. Hey, it could happen!

Then I started getting mixed emotions. Of course, I would love to be miraculously pregnant with a biological child. Isn’t that what everyone who’s been down the road of infertility wants?

Along with the excitement came hesitations. What would happen to my six frozen babies who are the biological blood link to John Luke? I can’t imagine loving John Luke more if he were my own flesh and blood. Would he be jealous that we were genetically related to the child? Would he feel we loved the genetic child more?

So many questions.

I never would have dreamed I would be saying this…I was a little relieved when I took the pregnancy test and it was negative. In reality, we would’ve been over the moon with excitement (and shock)!

But…a part of me would’ve been sad over how this would impact John Luke and the future of our frozen babies.

I no longer wish for a biological child for myself, but want a blood relative for John Luke. Don’t get me wrong, blended families are amazing. They are just as loving and sometimes even more functional as biological families.

We couldn’t love John Luke more if he were our own. We just want more like him!!

We have 6 embryos in waiting, suspended and frozen, until its their time to shine. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for them. I hope its bright.

24 week appointment and an Unexpected Encounter

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Last week, I had my 24 week appointment.  It was the kind you dream of as a pregnant woman, and yet are also a little disappointed by.  It was completely uneventful.  Good, in so many ways.  But then it also makes me kick myself for spending 1.5 hours out of my day driving to and from the appointment, waiting in the lobby, peeing in a cup, etc.

I’m measuring on track, and may even be slightly ahead of the game in the weight gain department (hey, I have some catching up to do after all that nausea/vomiting!).  Baby’s heartbeat was 150sh.

Baby is moving feverishly.  Watching my belly move is like watching a popcorn bag pop in the microwave.

I continue to feel extremely grateful for this opportunity, and yet am so excited to just get to D-day!

Also last week, I had an unexpected encounter.  A friend asked me to meet a friend of hers for coffee to discuss a possible career change.  As we were talking, the conversation turned to families.  She indicated she had adopted a son, who was now 16 months old.  No stranger to conversations like this – and clearly no shame, either — I politely inquired as to why she had adopted.  Infertility, she said.

I immediately felt a little saddened by this response, and yet, know it was also the reason we initially turned to adoption.  It is too bad that for so many of us, adoption is our “Plan B,” when it turns out it was God’s “Plan A” for us all along.

In any event, we continued to talk about infertility and adoption.  I then asked her about embryo adoption.  Her eyes widened.  She’d never heard of such a thing.  So, I told her all about it.  I could see the intrigue brewing in her eyes.

Later, I emailed her information about NEDC, and told her to keep in touch.

It felt so good to, if nothing else, bring the possibility of some additional hope to someone who thought that pregnancy was a lost cause for them.  Sure, she could do embryo adoption and never get pregnant.  And, if that’s the case, then if nothing else, she may herself have an unexpected encounter where she can pass that hope like a torch on to someone else.

Britney