PARENTING CLASS: WEEK FOUR

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Summarization from the final week of parenting classes based on ‘The Principles of Love and Logic’ by authors Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Phd.

TEN TRAITS OF HEALTHY HAPPY FAMILIES:

1) Parents are the center of the family (Solar system analogy).

2) Parents are in charge, but allow children more and more freedom with choices and decisions as they grow. Children are given choices early.

3) Parents value input from children, but have the final word. They are authoritative, not authoritarian or permissive.

4) Parents are consultants, not helicopter parents or drill sergeants.

5) Family values are established from birth. Faith is modeled and shared. Parents are the most important role models in children’s lives.

6) Manners and respect within family unit are taught and expected.

7) Love for each other is expressed in words, actions, hugs and kisses.

8) Family spends quality time together, sharing family stories, opinions and ideas, and laughing. (Eat together as much as possible)

9) Children have chores from age two or three.

10) Parents show love for each other and take time away from children to nurture their marital relationship.

Some additional notes from the class:

*Secure parents give kids security.

*Set limits once and follow through with empathy and loving actions instead of repeated warnings. Teach them how to make wise decisions the first time.

*Let kids learn from their mistakes and take consequences of their own behaviors/choices. Let them do this early when the price is small.

*It’s okay to “blow it” from time to time. We are human. Don’t dwell on it. Just get back to consistent parenting.

 

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Beenastics

Grant and Maria went to their first gymnastics class…or as Grant calls it “beenastics.”   We’ve been tossing around the idea of gymnastics for a while and got to try a free class at a small gym. When I told the kids they were both very excited, but as we got closer to class time, Maria started to walk around the house with her head down seeming rather distressed.   I asked her what was wrong and she said “Mommy, I’m kind of nervous about gymnastics.” My little worry wart was worried. I tried to reassure and encourage as much as I could, but she was going to have to come to terms with it on her own.

When we got to the gym, they watched some of the bigger kids on the balance beam and uneven bars. Maria stayed pinned to me and her head down when their coach came over to introduce herself. Thankfully she said I could walk out to the floor with them when they started. The class was small – only 8 kids including Grant and Maria. They held my hand as we made our way to the trampoline and they both walked up the steps to the waiting spot while I watched. When they weren’t paying attention, I snuck away and prayed they wouldn’t flip out. They didn’t. In fact, I’m not sure they even noticed.

After completing the trampoline work, they did several other rotations and had an absolute blast. They stuck close together and the coach chuckled when they tried to come down the ladder at the same time. “You would think they were in the womb together, or something!”

They were sad when class was over and couldn’t understand why they couldn’t come back the next day. Maria stated that she wasn’t scared anymore and Grant seconded her sentiment. We will definitely be going back.

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Brae-isms

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Some recent favorites from my favorite 5-year-old:

1) “Mommy, is God preparing a house for me in heaven?”

“Yes.”

“And is He preparing a house for you?”

“Yes.”

“When I get to heaven, I want to be your neighbor.”

2) Our beloved sister-in-law endured a miscarriage earlier this year.  Since we had told Brae about the baby before the miscarriage, we had to tell him the baby had not survived further.

“Mommy, is the baby in Auntie’s tummy in heaven?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Well, that’s where God wanted it.”

“Because God doesn’t have a baby of His own?”

3) “Brae, did you go to timeout today?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

(Shrugging).  “Mommy, I can’t remember how to stay out of timeout.”

4) We tell Brae it’s important to eat all his food so he grows up big and strong.  After throwing up, Brae one morning, Brae turned to me and said, “Mom, I’m a little bit smaller today.”

Britney