Summarization from the final week of parenting classes based on ‘The Principles of Love and Logic’ by authors Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Phd.
TEN TRAITS OF HEALTHY HAPPY FAMILIES:
1) Parents are the center of the family (Solar system analogy).
2) Parents are in charge, but allow children more and more freedom with choices and decisions as they grow. Children are given choices early.
3) Parents value input from children, but have the final word. They are authoritative, not authoritarian or permissive.
4) Parents are consultants, not helicopter parents or drill sergeants.
5) Family values are established from birth. Faith is modeled and shared. Parents are the most important role models in children’s lives.
6) Manners and respect within family unit are taught and expected.
7) Love for each other is expressed in words, actions, hugs and kisses.
8) Family spends quality time together, sharing family stories, opinions and ideas, and laughing. (Eat together as much as possible)
9) Children have chores from age two or three.
10) Parents show love for each other and take time away from children to nurture their marital relationship.
Some additional notes from the class:
*Secure parents give kids security.
*Set limits once and follow through with empathy and loving actions instead of repeated warnings. Teach them how to make wise decisions the first time.
*Let kids learn from their mistakes and take consequences of their own behaviors/choices. Let them do this early when the price is small.
*It’s okay to “blow it” from time to time. We are human. Don’t dwell on it. Just get back to consistent parenting.