Embryo adoption was a new concept for me. As I learned about the scientific components behind IVF and the outcome of this process, it was miracle technology. I first felt like I was getting an organ transplant. Initially, it was so overwhelming to think of someone else’s DNA/cells growing inside my body. I wanted to know every aspect of what was going to happen during the process as well as the medicine that would be given. The thought of being able to grow another human and have it survive and be its mother and breastfeed was well -the coolest dream ever! I also was scared to death my body would reject it like an organ could be rejected when given to someone else. How would I know this baby wouldn’t be deformed? Would I get cancer from all the hormone shots? Was I setting myself to be an experiment and miscarry anyway? The questions were endless and I would sit for hours at night and research the science behind embryo cryopreservation, thawing and survival rates.
What I learned was this was a very complex entity. I felt like it was a very courageous move for a play it safe person and a real steeping out in faith and trusting the process ordeal. I had to come to the acceptance that there was no guarantee in the end. What God would decide would be the final fate of these embryos. It is so hard to want something so bad and not be able to control the outcome. My heart truly goes out to all women and the fact we can’t control the “baby maker part” of our bodies. However, there comes some relief in having a simple faith in the ultimate Creator of Life.
As far as what I learned about the hormone shots, they hurt and ice packs helped me survive to the end. Keeping a calendar of protocol and dates helped me stay organized. One thing I regret is not keeping a journal of all the thoughts and feelings I had during that time. I wish I could go back and remember more of those.
When the day comes when you can finally stop the medication. It is the scariest feeling to trust that your body will take over giving what is needed to support the little life inside. In the end, the medications work! Treat yourself to the best dinner in town and congratulate yourself on a job well done! Finally, I really wished I could have gone through the journey with another embryo Mom. I was alone and “out there” to figure it out by myself. I wasn’t a free going FB blogger. I encourage those who are starting out to reach out to other women. You never know who may be feeling just like you.