Pictures and Graem’s First Month

PhotobucketGraem’s due date was last Friday, yet he’s been here for exactly one month already.  I still can’t believe how small he is, although he is starting to look more like a typical newborn.  At his last appointment, he was 7 lb., 7 oz, and just over 20 inches.  Developmentally, he’s on target, and the doctor who did his circumcision (ouch!) said he had no idea Graem was premature until he looked at his chart.

Graem is a laid back little dude.  He hates being cold, and he loves to be held.  If you can satisfy those two needs (apart from the whole feeding/sleeping thing), he’s a happy camper.

Nursing is going remarkably well (praise God!).  With Sienna’s torticollis, nursing was a challenge. I ended up pumping, breastfeeding, and supplementing for four months before I raised the white flag.

Graem has been a whole new story.  It took some time, but we’ve finally hit our groove with nursing.  This was a huge prayer request of mine, and I feel so grateful to be able to do it.  My goal is to get him to 6 months, when I have to go back to work full time.

The sleep deprivation has eased up a bit.  I try to nap once during the day.  Graem gives me about 3.5-4 hour stretches at night.  If I don’t nap, and it’s been a rough night with Graem, I notice my patience wears very thin.  Since I don’t want to lose my patience with Brae and Sienna, those naps are crucial.

Brae and Sienna have remembered how to use the toilet now (thank goodness), and generally seem to be adapting better to Graem.  They still want to hold him, touch him, kiss him, and generally pester him constantly, but also are more receptive when its time to stop.

Tygh enjoys his new son, and its becoming more apparent how much he and Graem look alike.  In fact, looking at Graem is like looking at Tygh’s face on a small body. A little strange.

When Graem was 2 weeks old, we took the following photos.   (PS – the 4th of July quilt is one that was given to us by a volunteer when Graem was in the NICU – a very special blanket).



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Next post: Does it feel different?


I’ve been asked this question a lot lately, by others, and by myself.  Now that Graem is here, does it feel different having a genetic child?

For those of you who may not know, we adopted our son, Brae, as an infant through the domestic infant adoption program.  We adopted our daughter, Sienna, as an embryo through the embryo adoption program.  Neither is genetically related to me or Tygh.

And yet, they are fully our children.

With Graem, we did IVF, with our own ingredients.  Something we never thought possible given our fertility history.

So Graem is genetically related to us; Brae and Sienna are not.  None of our children are genetically related.

And yet, they are still fully each our children.

With Brae, I felt love I never knew possible.  This little boy came out, and stole our hearts immediately.  I tell Brae that although he did not grow in my womb, he grew in our hearts.  I used to say that I’d walk in front of a semi-truck for him, and I still would.  It never mattered that he did not share our genes, and that I never carried him.  He was our son. Completely.

With Sienna, my heart grew in ways I didn’t know possible.  I mean, the heart is a physical being, and yet mine grew beyond its physical capabilities.  With Sienna, I got to experience pregnancy, also a gift I didn’t know I’d be able to have.  I also got my daughter.  She captivated our hearts from the moment she was thawed and transferred, through each and every ultrasound, and to the moment where she graced us with her presence.  It never mattered that she did not share our genes.  She was our daughter. Completely.

With Graem, my once completely full heart exploded again.  I never thought I’d have the opportunity to look into a child’s eyes and see my own.  To gaze at their toes, and wonder if they looked like mine.  Graem has satisfied a yearning and a curiosity I thought would forever be wanting.  And, you know what?  I’d love him just as much if he did not share our genes.  If I did not carry him.  He was meant to be our son, and for me, that’s enough.

So, the answer is “no,” it does not feel different to have Graem.  I don’t compare him to Brae or Sienna.  I don’t look at Graem and say, “Oh, he’s “mine.”  Never.  I look at each of my children, and say they are each “mine.”

Because they are.  No matter how they came to us.