There are a few people whom I would call “friends” in my life who still do not know the stories of Brae’s and Sienna’s journeys into our family.
I had one such friend over yesterday for a playdate.
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her. We’ve known each other for over a year and I want to tell her about Brae and Sienna’s adoption stories. I want to tell everyone, because Brae and Sienna have the coolest stories.
But, I hesitated. And, by the time she left, I still had not told her.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t lie to anyone. If I’m ever asked a straight up question that requires me to disclose that either one of them is adopted, I answer it truthfully.
But, I no longer volunteer.
Because, I’ve come to realize, Brae’s story and Sienna’s story are each their own. They are not mine to tell.
I’ve learned this more and more as Brae has gotten older, and developed friends outside my group of friends. He has friends outside my circle of playdate friends. He has friends at school, he has neighbor friends. He is his own person. He knows he is adopted, knows who his birth family is, and if he wants to share his amazing adoption journey, then who am I to trump that? Similarly, if he does not want to share his amazing adoption journey, or wants to select with whom he shares, again, that is his choice.
As proud as I am of him, of Sienna, and of each of their journeys, I recognize that adoption is a highly personal journey. Yes, I have my own part in that journey that I am entitled to share, but I have to be mindful that Brae and Sienna do too. And, their choice to share may be different than mine.
I need to respect that.