Sarah

Social Media has been an amazing way to connect with other women. When I first started with NEDC, It was enlightening to read blogs and view pictures of the wonderful stories and babies born from embryo adoption. It was a doorway to the lives of women and the families they wanted to share.

After my own successful embryo adoption, I came across Tamara and her blog from NEDC. I was so taken with her little boy, John Luke. He had very similar features to my little girl- Vivi. I emotionally connected with her stories and the big smile from her little boy.  I remember wishing I could ask about her embryo journey and I really wanted to know more about her life and how her little boy had changed her. What had caused her infertility problems? How did she deal with her adoption emotionally?  The day came, when I finally stepped out of my comfort zone and messaged her. I am so happy I did!

Our relationship has blossomed and we have shared stories, experiences and intimate conversation. It has been the best medicine for me to have that connection and a go to mom. We were able to meet for the first time in May. We had dinner together as we introduced our spouses and watched our babies meet for the first time. What a happy day! Meeting Tamara was a great opportunity and a delight because she was open to meeting me in person. I will be seeing her for a second time when I travel to NEDC for a sibling transfer this month. I am so excited to continue our friendship in person and at a distance. I am also very excited about my sibling transfer. Praying for a successful outcome!

I really wanted to share about my connection with Tamara on my blog. There are many women still struggling with infertility, loss and just being lonely. Women need friendships to other women. I also believe the connection our children can have with other adopted embryos may give them an avenue to emotionally connect with the same experience of being adopted. Step out of your comfort zone and make a connection. I would love to hear from other women who want to share or just need a listening ear.

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Staycation Observations

We took a family staycation last week.  We find this an affordable way to have family fun time and see things in and around our hometown that we don’t otherwise see.  We did a mix of things including the Louisville Slugger Museum and the Creation Museum.  We all enjoyed the time together and additional rest.  Somethings I noticed last week:

 

  • I can sleep for 11 hours with no problem.  I think I got nearly 11 hours of sleep every night.  It was glorious and only made my 5:00 a.m. alarm that much more painful on Tuesday.
  • Grant is a verbal processor and is always thinking.  I knew this, but not sure I understood the extent.  The night we got home from the Creation Museum he was in his bed and looked at me and thoughtfully asked “Do I have to go on the cross like Jesus to go to heaven?”  Wow!  That was deep.  I replied no; Jesus did that for us.  Our conversation soon went to how we get to heaven…and by get to heaven he wanted to know if we walked or drove.
  • Maria is laser focused in her desires.  When we went to the slugger museum we mentioned getting a little bat.  She wanted a pink bat.  The entire tour she was looking for a pink bat.  It was the only thing she could think about.  Imagine her disappointment when the pink bats were WAY overpriced.  She was stuck with the free baby bat in the color of wood.  Her disappointment was quickly appeased when she found a stuffed horse wearing a pink horse.  She refuses to name it “Slugger”…
  • Glitter is like the herpes of the craft world.  We made a giant snowflake out of Popsicle sticks as one of our school craft projects.  Maria also made several rainbow colored snowflakes.  Each snowflake was covered in glitter.  Jeremy merely walked through the room with the snowflakes and ended up with glitter on his face.
  • My kids can walk a lot.  We parked in my parking garage for work and walked about 7 blocks to the Slugger museum.  After the museum we walked to the waterfront and got to see the river and some boats.  All in all, they walked over 2 miles.  Complaining only started in the last block and was understandable due to heat and hunger.  I was quite proud at how well they did.
  • “Are we there yet” is a phrase that is innate.  Didn’t matter if we were going to the splash park 15 minutes away or the Creation Museum and hour and a half away…we heard the question.  And every time the response was “Does it look like we’re there?”… and the reply was always “No.”
  • Maria still has to sit in front.  In our tandem stroller – even as an infant – Maria had to be in the front seat.  At the Creation Museum, they got to ride a camel.  It accommodated a child on either side of it’s hump.  Maria requested/insisted on being in front of the hump.  Grant, recognizing his lot in life, without argument, sat in the back.

A guest post from a donor mom, “What I’m looking for in an adoptive family”

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My sister in law just welcomed her twins the same month that Graem was born.  She did IVF and has 5 stellar embryos remaining.  She is going to adopt them through NEDC.

The paperwork is filled out, and she and her husband are eager to complete the process.

I’ve asked her what she is looking for in an adoptive family, and she responded with this:

The number one thing we are looking for in an adoptive family is the same thing we based our decision on when writing our will and choosing who our children would go to… We want someone who will make it their priority to get these little souls to heaven someday. We are not able to parent these five embryos here on earth, but knowing we’ll all be united in heaven someday gives us peace about whatever happens between now and then. 

Beyond that, we will be looking for a family with similar interests and temperaments as our family. We want our biological children to feel like they “fit in” with their family so finding someone similar to us is important for that reason. We’d like to find a family that is laid back, emotionally stable, physically active, fun loving, and adventurous. We would prefer a family that does not live in a big city, but not out in the boonies either. A smallish suburb with good schools and traditional values would be ideal. 

We will be looking to see if they have a strong marriage with a foundation in Christ. We’ll also be looking to see if they have strong relationships with the rest of their family and community. 

Beyond these tangible attributes, we’ll also just go with our gut. I think we’ll know when we feel that strong connection with someone and it will just feel right. We’ll be praying (and ask for your prayers) that our babies will be firmly held in God’s hands as this important decision is made.

I cannot wait to see how God leads this journey!
Britney

Hannah

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It’s no secret among my friends and family that I wanted this third child to be a girl.  In fact, for much of the pregnancy, not only did I want a girl, I did not want a boy.

I don’t have a good explanation for this, other than it was just my heart’s desire.  I love my son, and I love my daughter equally – immensely. But I just did not picture the child I was carrying – the first and only genetic one – to be a boy.  I pictured a girl.

And I named her.  Her name was Hannah.

I’ve posted before that this name has tremendous significance for us.   It was to be Brae’s name if he had been a girl, and simply coincidentally, it was Brae’s birthmom’s last name.

It is the name of the woman in the Bible who struggled with infertility.  And, it is in honor of me and my sister – each of our middle names is Ann.

But, I didn’t have a girl.  Instead, I have this miracle.  This boy.

When I gave birth, and saw him, I think I was in shock. I was so not expecting a boy.  I was convinced I was having a girl.

Thankfully, by God’s grace, the last emotion I felt was disappointed.  I was completely elated.  He was here.  This complete shot in the dark miracle.  I didn’t even remember that I had so desired a girl.

But, then what about Hannah? This elusive child.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that our family is complete.  And I will not have another girl. There will be no Hannah.

And yet, Hannah, and all that that name signifies, is in each of my children.  Hannah represents our infertility journey.  Our struggle to grow our family.

Hannah is here.

Hannah exists.

I see her every time I kiss my children’s faces.

And am thankful that she is exactly where — or who — she should be.

Britney