We had our annual birthfamily visit with Brae’s birthfather and his side of the family. I’ve said this each year, but they really do keep getting better and more comfortable.
We met at a local amusement park and the kids had a blast going on all the rides and into all of the little venues.
Brae knew more about his birthfather this time around, mostly just from being more able to understand. I had tried to tell him that his birthfather, along with his birthmother, had helped create him and loved him very much. And then his birthmom pushed him out of her tummy, right into Mommy and Daddy’s arms. It was an act of selflessness, love, and sacrifice.
Knowing all of this, as soon as we got to the park and met the birthfather’s family, Brae immediately said, “Ok! So which one of you pushed me out of your tummy?!” It was the ideal icebreaker.
Brae and Sienna both hammed it up the whole visit, putting everyone in stitches. Sienna being her usual hostile, spunky self, and Brae just willing to do anything for a good laugh.
We didn’t get personal until near the end of the visit when the birthfather’s grandmother mentioned that Brae’s birthfather still had a hard time with the adoption. Of course, he was grateful and happy Brae was in such a good, loving home, and that all had turned out just fine, but still just mourning it all. She asked if we’d be willing to speak with him sometime about how he was feeling. Absolutely, we said.
It hurts my heart that he feels that way. I just don’t want to see him hurting. And, I cannot imagine the pain that he has endured during it all.
I’m sure that pain never goes away. The hope is that with open adoption, the pain of the unknown is somewhat diminished. And, that over time, a relationship between the two of them can develop.
At the end of the visit, as with all the other visits, they had early birthday presents for him. And, very sweetly, they brought gifts for Sienna as well.
We left with full hearts.